Well, well, well—look what the FBI just “stumbled upon.” A casual 2,400 previously undisclosed records tied to the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. You know, just some light reading tucked away in the federal filing cabinet labeled “Oops, We Missed These.” It’s almost impressive how these documents managed to stay hidden for over six decades, like they’ve been playing the most elite game of hide-and-seek in American history.
And when did these files magically appear? Mere days after President Trump signed an executive order demanding the release of all classified documents related to JFK, RFK, and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Funny how that works. It’s almost like the FBI needed a little nudge—or a presidential order—to “discover” what’s been under their noses the whole time.
That’s over 60 years of government stonewalling, redactions thicker than War and Peace, and conspiracy theories that make The X-Files look like a documentary. But don’t worry, the FBI assures us this was all an innocent mistake, the result of “recent technological advancements” and efforts to digitize records. Right. Because it takes AI-powered quantum computers to find dusty folders in a storage room.
According to the FBI, they kicked off this miraculous treasure hunt in 2020 when they opened the Central Records Complex. Apparently, once they upgraded from filing cabinets to databases, voilà—thousands of “unrecognized” JFK-related records just popped up. Imagine if the average American tried that excuse on their taxes: “Oh, sorry, IRS, I just found these 2,400 missing receipts after digitizing my files. Totally innocent.”
What’s even more suspicious? These documents were never handed over to the original review board tasked with investigating the case. So either the FBI’s organizational skills rival that of a teenager’s bedroom, or—and hear me out—they didn’t want anyone to find them. But sure, let’s chalk it up to clerical oversight.
This all comes after Robert F. Kennedy Jr. openly accused the CIA of involvement in both his uncle’s and father’s assassinations. And now, right after President Trump demands transparency, here comes a document dump conveniently labeled “just found.”
The real question isn’t how these records were “lost,” but what’s inside them. My guess? A lot of redactions, more cover-ups, and enough evidence to fuel conspiracy theories for another 60 years. But hey, at least we’re finally getting somewhere—thanks to President Trump forcing the issue. Imagine that: actual accountability. What a concept.
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