Just when you thought academia couldn’t get any more ridiculous, here comes Georgetown University with a brand-new coping strategy for its oh-so-delicate public policy students. Forget lectures on international relations or seminars on economic policy — the McCourt School of Public Policy thinks their future diplomats need a little… Lego therapy. While the rest of us wake up the morning after Election Day, brush our teeth, and go to work regardless of the outcome, Georgetown students are being ushered into a “Self-Care Suite” for a day of playtime.
The event, orchestrated by Jaclyn Clevenger, McCourt’s director of student engagement, sounds like something you’d put together for a kindergarten class, not graduate students preparing for careers in shaping national and international policy. The email invitation proudly listed a schedule of activities that includes “Tea, Cocoa, and Self-Care,” a “Legos Station,” and, my personal favorite, “Milk and Cookies.” Because nothing says “future leader of the free world” like a good snack break and some mindfulness coloring exercises.
Here’s a taste of the riveting agenda:
10:00 a.m.-11:00 a.m.: Tea, Cocoa, and Self-Care
11:00 a.m.-12:00 p.m.: Legos Station
12:00 p.m.-1:00 p.m.: Healthy Treats and Healthy Habits
1:00 p.m.-2:00 p.m.: Coloring and Mindfulness Exercises
2:00 p.m.-3:00 p.m.: Milk and Cookies
4:00 p.m.-5:00 p.m.: Legos and Coloring
5:00 p.m.-6:00 p.m.: Snacks and Self-Guided Meditation
Is this real life or an SNL sketch? You’ve got to wonder if these students realize that in the actual world of public policy, “mindfulness exercises” aren’t going to cut it when you’re negotiating trade deals or advising on national security threats.
Of course, Georgetown isn’t the only institution of higher coddling. Missouri State University is offering a “no phone zone space” complete with calm jars, fidget toys, and coloring pages. Because, apparently, nothing soothes the soul of a college student reeling from a democratic election like squeezing a squishy stress ball.
And it’s not just universities — the madness has trickled down to high schools, too. At the elite Fieldston School in New York City, attendance the day after the election is optional, and they’ve even called in psychologists for “Election Day Support.” Jerry Seinfeld, whose own son attended Fieldston, couldn’t hold back his disdain: “What kind of lives have these people led that makes them think this is the right way to handle young people? To encourage them to buckle.”
Seinfeld’s spot on. We’re raising a generation of kids who can’t handle disagreement or disappointment without a safety net of milk and cookies. And these are the folks who are supposed to lead our country one day? It’s no wonder we’re seeing so many young people crumbling under the weight of the real world — they’ve been bubble-wrapped by an education system more concerned with shielding them from discomfort than preparing them for reality.
So here’s a thought for Georgetown: Instead of coddling your students with a “Self-Care Suite,” maybe try preparing them for the fact that sometimes elections don’t go your way. Instead of a Lego station, how about a crash course in resilience? Because last I checked, the real world doesn’t come with a hot cocoa break when things don’t go as planned.
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