Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY) had the kind of week that makes you wonder if he accidentally wandered onto the set of a political sitcom. Just before the government officially hit shutdown mode, Schumer shuffled to the Senate floor and decided to pick a fight with… the New York Times. Yes, that New York Times. His performance was so cringeworthy it got him laughed at, not by late-night comedians, but by his actual Republican colleagues in the chamber. And we’re not talking polite golf claps of laughter. This was the kind of full-bellied cackling you hear when someone slips on a banana peel in a cartoon.
Schumer kicked things off by preemptively trashing the Times/Siena survey showing Democrats getting the lion’s share of blame for the looming shutdown. “Now I know the leader is going to show a poll that says that Democrats will be blamed for the shutdown,” Schumer warned, almost like a magician trying to distract the audience before the trick goes south. He waved it away, insisting, “There are many more polls that show Republicans are blamed. The question in that poll is biased.” Cue the chorus of laughter from the GOP side.
But he didn’t stop there. Oh no, Schumer doubled down, muttering, “In the New York Times, but it’s biased,” before adding the zinger, “I don’t always believe the New York Times… You can be sure of that.” Then, in what might have been his weakest attempt at bipartisan bonding ever, he turned to Republicans and said, “Neither do you.” At that point, the laughter wasn’t just background noise. It was the soundtrack of his humiliation.
https://twitter.com/JohnBasham/status/1973405947042161049
And here’s the kicker: the poll wasn’t exactly ambiguous. Only 27% of Americans said they backed Democrats shutting down the government over their demands, which included extending ACA tax credits and—brace yourself—taxpayer-funded health care for illegal immigrants. Not exactly a rallying cry for Middle America.
While Schumer and House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries keep crying “compromise” (which in Washington usually means “hand over everything or else”), Republicans aren’t biting. As the Trump administration made clear, Americans can barely afford their own health care bills, let alone bankroll benefits for people who aren’t even supposed to be in the country.
Vice President JD Vance didn’t mince words: “The American people want to give massive amounts of money, hundreds of billions of dollars to illegal aliens for their health care, while Americans are struggling to pay their health care bills.” He called it what it is—lunacy.
So here we are: Schumer, the man who thought accusing the New York Times of being secretly biased against Democrats was a winning play, got laughed right off the Senate floor. If that’s the state of Democratic strategy, they’re not just out of ammo. They’re out of allies, out of message, and maybe out of time.
Would you like me to spice this up with a few sharper pop culture jabs (think sitcom references, WWE smackdowns, or reality TV meltdowns) to make Schumer’s floor moment even more vivid?
Leave a Comment